she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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