Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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