You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
is it fun? or sober?
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