its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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