okay pat passed out under dana's car
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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