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Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Randomize
