yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
