she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
