What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
