That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Me. At least after what I've been through.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
