dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
