Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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