I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
