party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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