I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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