I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
