I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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