Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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