I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize