I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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