similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
