It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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