have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize