Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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