rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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