If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Randomize