He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
