playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
