Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
