I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
why does every cop we meet know your name?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
