My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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