he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
