checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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