Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
