Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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