i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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