i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
