my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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