yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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