you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
People with herpes should wear stickers.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize