Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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