I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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