Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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