omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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