Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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