I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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