YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
