We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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