I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
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I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
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Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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