its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
