3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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