Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize