you mean i was at the winter classic?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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