Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
the condom got lost in my hair
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Randomize
