how can u be prego again
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
