Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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